To the Past. You have molded him into a foreign object made of clay, and the hands that molded were fragile and inexperienced: I wish your mold was a bowl that could sustain the least bit of substance, but instead it's easily found to be useless. Not even aesthetically appealing. It just is. You serve no purpose, at least, not for me. The Past has found me virtuous and it has graced me into a irreplaceable sculpture made of crystal. Something bright and immaculate graces me and I feel radiant. I'm displayed behind red ropes and piercing eyes graze my skin, but don't penetrate. I walk further along this exhibition and I find photos hanging, as if from a noose. They are just photos after all..."Faded photographs, covered now with lines and creases...Memories of bits and pieces,Traces...." Meaning fading fast. Rekindle only the fire within myself. You are no longer a sounding board... You just sound really bored. You seek Romance, passion, desire, and euphoria. I just want someone that can say this to me: "The day you love someone else more than me, please leave." That sort of conviction will ease my wrath. That sort of promise soothes my spirit and seeps through the cracks of the bricks that have built this wall. My actions are no longer a reflection of my feelings. Only those with a good will, and a clean canvas, will draw me out: pretty pictures that show subliminal messages of my deep committed love and loyalty. Can You hear me? Can you see me? Can you feel me? No. You can't, and I'm beyond content with that realization.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Trace, Grace, and Face.
To the Past. You have molded him into a foreign object made of clay, and the hands that molded were fragile and inexperienced: I wish your mold was a bowl that could sustain the least bit of substance, but instead it's easily found to be useless. Not even aesthetically appealing. It just is. You serve no purpose, at least, not for me. The Past has found me virtuous and it has graced me into a irreplaceable sculpture made of crystal. Something bright and immaculate graces me and I feel radiant. I'm displayed behind red ropes and piercing eyes graze my skin, but don't penetrate. I walk further along this exhibition and I find photos hanging, as if from a noose. They are just photos after all..."Faded photographs, covered now with lines and creases...Memories of bits and pieces,Traces...." Meaning fading fast. Rekindle only the fire within myself. You are no longer a sounding board... You just sound really bored. You seek Romance, passion, desire, and euphoria. I just want someone that can say this to me: "The day you love someone else more than me, please leave." That sort of conviction will ease my wrath. That sort of promise soothes my spirit and seeps through the cracks of the bricks that have built this wall. My actions are no longer a reflection of my feelings. Only those with a good will, and a clean canvas, will draw me out: pretty pictures that show subliminal messages of my deep committed love and loyalty. Can You hear me? Can you see me? Can you feel me? No. You can't, and I'm beyond content with that realization.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monty and Jade Episode 2
Monty:
it's just taming your mind to not make life so god damn difficult for you
cuz so much shit that's been put into our minds all our lives has become our "norm"
and if your "norm" is "a fuckload of BS and negativity"
what kinda life are you gonna live?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
whenever that snooty, purse-lipped librarian in your brain decides to show you an Encyclopedia of How You Were Mistreated As a Child, tell him to pull out a different book instead
get what i mean?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
just re-training our minds, which are programmed to do what they've been receiving all their lives
=]
ancient Samurai used to advise "Make your mind your best friend."
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
yeah i just went psycho on this guy
he hung in there
but..
it was just the tip of the ice burg
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
gotta tame that hurricane inside your brain, love
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
hahaha
i know
He dodged my questions
well always gave me a "fair answer"
no depth
but i know he's very capable of it
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
don't be bustin that out on me now!
*takes cover*
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
bustin what out?
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
the over-analytical stuffs
well you're building awareness as it is, then
hehe
at least you realized that your mind went outta control and got the best of you
cuz now you'll be on the lookout
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
EXACLTY
and he caught on too
I felt so embarassed
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
hahaha yea
i know how that goes
you live and ya learn
i'm quite awesome at making an ass of myself
but as long as you learn somethin from it
who's judgin?
juuust you
so STAPPIT
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!
I know
fuck.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
so you can stop over-analyzing your embarrassment
or something
i am a healthy distraction *flex*
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!
i think what stirred me up was when he wanted to know something out of curiosity....
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
and ya got defensive?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
was he asking about something that genuinely bothered you that you felt like you had to retaliate?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
NO.
but i felt dissected
like yes ..i know .."intriguing"
im am intriguing...but, it's nothing to be curious about.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
last time i thought you were intriguing you attempted to rip me a new asshole
so yea i know what that poor bastard was in for
=P
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES!!!!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
why so defensive about people wanting to know who you are, though?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
cause the ones closest hurt the most.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i see
i hope that does NOT mean that you anticipate being hurt by those close to you..?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
i dont know n e more
people change...constantly...
but im ready for them
but only on my terms will i allow them to get close.
sorry.
thats just how it is from here on out.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
hehe i see
well spare yourself the trouble
don't build walls to defend against me
cuz i ain't tryin to attack you
never have, never will
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
i know
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i don't know the kind of people you konw, Jade
but if it means that you constnatly feel like you gotta defend yourself
maybe you need better people in your life
*shrug* just sayin
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
I KNOW
and im in the process of doing that
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
awesome!
=]
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
it hurts though
these poeple have been long time friends.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
I know...
been there... done that...
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
FUCK
okay..
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i've known Jason for 10 years
he's not my friend anymore
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
so here i am ...one step behind ya
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
we were practically brothers
nobody's behind anybody
we're side-by-side
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
True.
Monty:
it's just habits putting up a fight against the new norm you're trying to establish
your body's saying, "What's this? Sensible benevolence?! New information that's helpful?! Nonsense. Let's duel."
and as long as you're persistent, whatever you want your norm to be, it will be that
Jade:
Yep.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
CLARO QUE SI!!!
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
fuck for a second there i thought i was losing my mind. I thought "OH no..it was ALL FAKE...All this goody-good life stuff"
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
minds can run away from us easy if we let them
and a lot of people do
lol
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!!
get awaayy frm my conscioussss!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i'm scurred
it's just taming your mind to not make life so god damn difficult for you
cuz so much shit that's been put into our minds all our lives has become our "norm"
and if your "norm" is "a fuckload of BS and negativity"
what kinda life are you gonna live?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
whenever that snooty, purse-lipped librarian in your brain decides to show you an Encyclopedia of How You Were Mistreated As a Child, tell him to pull out a different book instead
get what i mean?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
just re-training our minds, which are programmed to do what they've been receiving all their lives
=]
ancient Samurai used to advise "Make your mind your best friend."
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
yeah i just went psycho on this guy
he hung in there
but..
it was just the tip of the ice burg
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
gotta tame that hurricane inside your brain, love
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
hahaha
i know
He dodged my questions
well always gave me a "fair answer"
no depth
but i know he's very capable of it
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
don't be bustin that out on me now!
*takes cover*
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
bustin what out?
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
the over-analytical stuffs
well you're building awareness as it is, then
hehe
at least you realized that your mind went outta control and got the best of you
cuz now you'll be on the lookout
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
EXACLTY
and he caught on too
I felt so embarassed
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
hahaha yea
i know how that goes
you live and ya learn
i'm quite awesome at making an ass of myself
but as long as you learn somethin from it
who's judgin?
juuust you
so STAPPIT
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!
I know
fuck.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
so you can stop over-analyzing your embarrassment
or something
i am a healthy distraction *flex*
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!
i think what stirred me up was when he wanted to know something out of curiosity....
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
and ya got defensive?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
was he asking about something that genuinely bothered you that you felt like you had to retaliate?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
NO.
but i felt dissected
like yes ..i know .."intriguing"
im am intriguing...but, it's nothing to be curious about.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
last time i thought you were intriguing you attempted to rip me a new asshole
so yea i know what that poor bastard was in for
=P
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
YES!!!!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
why so defensive about people wanting to know who you are, though?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
cause the ones closest hurt the most.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i see
i hope that does NOT mean that you anticipate being hurt by those close to you..?
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
i dont know n e more
people change...constantly...
but im ready for them
but only on my terms will i allow them to get close.
sorry.
thats just how it is from here on out.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
hehe i see
well spare yourself the trouble
don't build walls to defend against me
cuz i ain't tryin to attack you
never have, never will
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
i know
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i don't know the kind of people you konw, Jade
but if it means that you constnatly feel like you gotta defend yourself
maybe you need better people in your life
*shrug* just sayin
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
I KNOW
and im in the process of doing that
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
awesome!
=]
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
it hurts though
these poeple have been long time friends.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
I know...
been there... done that...
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
FUCK
okay..
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i've known Jason for 10 years
he's not my friend anymore
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
so here i am ...one step behind ya
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
we were practically brothers
nobody's behind anybody
we're side-by-side
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
True.
Monty:
it's just habits putting up a fight against the new norm you're trying to establish
your body's saying, "What's this? Sensible benevolence?! New information that's helpful?! Nonsense. Let's duel."
and as long as you're persistent, whatever you want your norm to be, it will be that
Jade:
Yep.
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
CLARO QUE SI!!!
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
fuck for a second there i thought i was losing my mind. I thought "OH no..it was ALL FAKE...All this goody-good life stuff"
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
minds can run away from us easy if we let them
and a lot of people do
lol
……………………………………………………………………
Jade:
LOL!!
get awaayy frm my conscioussss!
……………………………………………………………………
Monty:
i'm scurred
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